Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I love you. Go after that dick
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Congratulations! We have a period
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