dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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