No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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