Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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