shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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