i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize