You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
