she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize