What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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