He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
