i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Panties = found
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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