so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
