dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
