i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
