somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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