this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
