im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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