bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
two words...techno handjob
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize