this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I need a burrito and a hug.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
