bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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