K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize