You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
