the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
