OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
3 2 1 whiskey
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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