The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
