Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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