Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
