69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
is it fun? or sober?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
