Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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