i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
