Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
