I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
