Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
