What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
