my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The power of my boobs compel you
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