got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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