Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
