i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
