Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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