he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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