True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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