yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
