You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
