Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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