I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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