I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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