So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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