The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
