Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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