On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
