We're facebook friends in real life
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
