If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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