and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
