she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm really busy with my period
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