By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
