dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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