That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
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Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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