i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
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sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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