it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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