He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize