Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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