I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
