I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
