I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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